Thursday, August 30, 2007

Monsters, Inc.


Last night, Alek and I went to the movies while Susan went to dinner with her friends from the FDA. We saw the 5:15PM showing of the live action movie Underdog. we ate hot dogs, popcorn, goldfish and lemonade during the previews. Being a live action adaptation, the movie strayed from the cartoon world where bipedal animals mingled unselfconsciously with humans, but I was able to put my preconceived notions aside and watch the movie at Alek's level, though I admit I spent a fair ammount of time watching his silver screen illumintaed face and occasionally whispering rhetorical questions about character motivation. Underdog was a good movie for Alek, talking animals, super hero action and slap-stick comedy. Something Alek really seems to enjoy these days are clumsy buffoons, the unfortunate sidekick in Disney movies (Sebastian in the Little Mermaid), real three stooges kind of stuff. The antics of such characters has him guffawing in that twinkly three year old way. By the end Alek was reciting "There's no need to fear! Underdog is here!" We were home by seven and had finished the bedtime routine by eight; a little dancing (two songs, fast songs), brush teeth, read book, go to the toilet, put on shirt, put on diaper, crawl to the crib, climb in, drink water, tell story, baba stay a little bit, good night kiss, I love you, close door. Now you can see why it takes about an hour. It's been slowly expanding for some time and now includes, five minutes of fidgeting in the dark in our bed before the crawl to the crib. Not that it has been a problem, it is an enjoyable routine and gives us time together as a family and Alek usually drop off to sleep some time after we close the door.

The operative word is usually. Lately, meaning the past few nights, Alek hasn't slept so quickly and occasionally gotten out of his crib for pee-pee feeling (which we always honor). Last night, he was still up at nine and when Susan came home, then when Susan went to bed (he slept on my side), then he was up at three until five and she wasn't sure if he slept in between! What's going on?! At some point before Susan went to bed he climbed out of the crib and was hanging around in the upstairs hallway (I know because From the couch I could see he was dangling fifi into the stairwell), when I asked him to come downstairs, he didn't and when I went up, I found him sleeping on our bed. Talking to him there I was informed that there were monsters in the closet, Lions to be more precise. He's been on a little lion jag the last week. I'm not sure why, but his pretend "show" always has lions and sheeps. Where did that come from? We have an animal noises book with a Lion's roar in that we revisited recently. We have his book of Princess stories which includes the Lionlike Beast that scared him at the ice show a year ago. We checked the closet together, no monsters, I even barricaded the closet door with a rocking chair, just in case. Alas, he still didn't sleep, later complaining that there were monsters in his crib (undescribed monsters) and that our bed was more comfortable, that his bed was hot, he wants his car bed. In the end, tired and worn, resolving to figure this out tomorrow, Susan and Alek slept in our bed and I went to the guest room, only to be awoken at 5:30AM by a sullen preschooler and a groggy wife. I was able to get Alek to sleep in the crib before I left for work, but at this point, I don't know how long he might have slept, certainly no more than three hours.

How did things get to where they are now? Gradually, ever so slowly it seems to have snuck up on us. Looking back, things have changed alot. Susan and I know how we want it to be and we've succeeded before. I can tell what we are doing wrong, but I checked our sleeping guide Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child just to be sure, I remembered what was what. Tired. Quiet. Relaxed. Here's the gist...

1.) Our bedtime routine is too long. Maybe we should trim it down to it's essential elements; take a bath (some days), read a book, brush teeth, use toilet, get dressed, go to bed. At the same time it needs to be soothing, which depends on the tone set by Susan and I, something she and I will have to be mindful of, no dancing, tickling, pinching, chasing at bedtime, quiet snuggling and calm help. Post and emphasize sleep rules (maybe it will be meaningful this time?)

2.) We have let the daily routine structure erode somewhat. Wake-up times in the morning and after nap need to be a little more consistant. The same goes for bedtime. Not only will it buffer against the day becoming shifted forward two hours, but it's going to be necessary with the fall schedule. Alek will be going to preschool two days a week, as well as have music and soccer activities. In the evenings Susan will be taking a class. Since I've shifted my work schedule back two hours (starting work around 7AM), I get home between three and four, so I hoping to wake Alek before he sleeps to 4:30 to 5PM (it's happened). Eating out less would also ensure the schedule does creep later again.

3.) Speaking of the post-nap routine, I think Alek should be doing some of those things he's now doing at bedtime, dancing, running, playing. Our guru writes that I child needs to be tired to sleep. It makes sense, so in the afternoons, Alek and I need to get our exercise.

4.) Things I am hoping to avoid are movies or TV in the afternoon, not only is it sedentary but the content (especially movies) often has violent or monstrous components that I am more fully realizing are not appropriate for children of Alek's age. Such children often have difficulty separating reality from pretend, especially since the imagination flourishes before reason and logic. Underdog was a thrilling movie but it was not particularly violent, more slap stick silliness, and it wasn't monstrous, just dog, cats and people. However, the one of the previews was for a movie entitled The Spiderwick Chronicles. A dark and scary hidden monsters everywhere juvenile fiction series that I hadn't predicted would be ceremoniously plopped in front of a campy Disney kids film. It's not just the movie you need to know about, but also the trailers and even the military advertising that runs before the trailers. In retrospect, it is probably this trailer that triggered some of last nights "troubles" since it prompted Alek to proclaim, "I'm not scared". It seems obvious now. Lesson learned.

Of course this is all hypothetical adjustments, what happens in reality may be quite different. For instance, the subject of switching to the car bed has been injected into the mix, so we might have to accomodate that transition as well. How much resistance will there be? How quickly can or should we make changes? I'll let you know what happens. I am also reminding myself that these challenges are a good sign of Alek's continued mental development. It heralds a growth in imagination and some sort of memory-based combinatorial synthesis ability. I guess that's my fancy way of saying he's growing up on schedule.

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